Breakups are always tough.

Hurt feelings, resentment, and unhappiness just come with the territory. But while you may not be able to control those feelings of heartbreak and sadness, there is something you can do to help yourself heal and move on — avoid doing these 23 things during a breakup.

1. Don’t forget the practical things. Does your ex have your passwords, keys, or other possessions? Make a plan to recover those things and go through with it, says expert Toni Coleman.

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2. Don’t try to punish your ex. It won’t take away your hurt or make you feel better. In fact, it’ll probably make you feel worse.

3. Don’t consider getting back together for several weeks. “When folks bounce back and forth, in and out of relationships, it is usually a sign that they don’t want to be in the relationship but have wrong reasons for remaining,” Coleman says. “For instance, they might have a fear of being alone or a fear of loneliness.”

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5. Don’t worry about mutual friends. Experts say friends should be a non-factor in breakups. If they take your ex’s side, they aren’t your real friends, anyway.

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